fallback

and denial creeps in

it has a way about it

surreptitious silent habitual 

the fallback the go to the familiar

a wise mechanism protective safe

a comforting womb warm embracing

here, have a cup of tea brewed with birth water

steeped in disappointment

welcome settle in denial kisses the top of your

head sings lullabies into your ears 

you sleep you float you cope once again

©Karen Casady2018

boundary

and now I’m confused

put off and cut off by

a boundary a line in

the sand that cannot be

crossed I cannot forget

the image of you throwing

a tantrum the drama of which

belonged on stage but for the fact

that was really happening in front of

me as I silently watched unable to

process it because I have never borne

witness to such behavior and for that I

am grateful and no I was

not afraid nor was I angry instead I sat

in quiet disbelief to the episode that unfolded

before me and as quickly as you started you ended

not because you caught yourself but because somehow

you’d finished what you had to say nay scream nay howl

nay roar though that word implies the king of beasts

the lion in all its magnificence and glory

neither of which describe what I watched and now when

I look at you I can’t forget that you were that person even

as you go back to being yourself I cannot forget the violence

that became your demeanor and how easily you transformed and

how I now weigh the possibilities of enduring another momentary loss

of control and how now I am wont to confront you even gently for fear

of a repeat performance so yes now, I am cut off and put off by a boundary a line

in the sand that cannot be crossed because I cannot forget what happened

©Karen Casady2018

apparition

my dear madam

might I join you in that

shot of vodka though I

feel certain of your answer

you must hear me out for I

want only to participate in your

triumph to aid you in your endeavors

flattered that I am how could I possibility

hold sway over you I mean not to cast a

shadow over you but rather to be your shadow

a mere apparition a slight phantom an admiring daydream

who slips into your mind and body

in this singular act I cannot be stopped

©Karen Casady2018

singular

my dear sir

busy though you maybe I

retain the right to be busier and

that my oeuvre might take precedence

over yours that the stuff of my doing

and being overrides all attention I may

or may not confer upon you and  

how dare I not have time for you

and your roguery your enticements and

your bustle ever so beguiling enough to distract

me from my singular purpose of mastery and 

attainment that I would even allow such a thing to

to come between me and triumph but 

you beckon and I resist you enchant and I waiver 

you fascinate and I am spellbound to the degree that only a splash of cold water upon my face and 

a shot of vodka chugged can return me to 

my state of determination

©Karen Casady2018

Invitation

invite yourself? 

yes of course

why don’t you

first time

last time

an intrusion upon my sacred ground

no more

never again

ask though you might

the answer will be no

always no

you trampled my cherished garden

tried to make it your garden

it will never be your garden

you are a weed

here swallow some DDT

©Karen Casady2018

dust

And what about that

braying anger and that 

beastly shouting and the 

raucous stomping of your feet

a violent stampede meant to 

upend and trample all reason and

symmetry to disable sanity in hopes of

dragging the rational into the depths of

dark confrontation where the muck of 

life comes apart and tornados rage with 

only the intent of destruction and obliteration 

and I sit and take note and wait till the storm

passes and search my integrity and find that I

am intact and unharmed but you combusted and

now lie on the floor disguised as a contrite pile of

shit destined to dry into non-amendable dust

©Karen Casady2018

When I bought my first pair of

hiking boots my mother said, 

“What do you need THOSE for?”

To which I retorted, “For hiking.”

And she waved me away with a flick

of her hand.

When my daughter bought 

her first pair of hiking boots I said,

“THOSE will last a long time.”

To which she replied, “An investment.”

And I nodded as I laced up my 

old worn brown lovelies.

©Karen Casady2018